As Mark has pointed out, as well as a few other people, I have had many years of this conditioning; I cannot expect to change overnight. However, change I am doing!

I have found, and I am sure most people will agree with me, that I am hardest on myself than anyone else, and I have learned to forgive myself for each step I have taken backwards. This is the biggest step in reconditioning I could do, FORGIVING MYSELF.

I have found that this course MKMMA is building the person that is truly inside me. It has started my life anew.

I focus on the images that I hold in my mind of what I want from this course and in my life.

I am proud to say I am a wonderful person; I look for good in all humankind. I look for those that need a little encouragement and I give it to them. I see the world as a wonderful place.

I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, and happy.

I am what I will to be.

Even though I am 51 years old, some see that as nearly the end, I am looking at it the beginning. Oh yes I wish I were taught to think this way years ago. However it is not so, and I accept that my life is what I make it to be now. It is not too late to live the rest of my life on this beautiful earth in the images I create.

See you all at the top!

It was in one of the virtues that were keeping me from growing the way I wanted to. At least at this moment it seems that this is it. In just a matter of two days after I was given a choice; did things change. I have six people who are open to information, three has decided to join, one as taken the next steps, one the date has been set, and the other one has looked and is waiting a follow up.

On Jan 4th 2011 I make yet another brake throw. For this was the day that I receive a reply email I had sent to Davene. I will not go into what was discussed, but I will let you know that I was down on myself a lot. I had also sent in our assignment for the Franklin Virtues when Davene pointed out what she say needed the most to be focused on. She told me to place Decisiveness, as the first placement on my virtue card.

In addition, she said you are either going to do it or you is not… She then later in the email said one thing that woke me up; decide that you are not going to do it and get out.

OUCH! It seems as I said, that this is what was keeping me moving forward. It seems that I was on that wall teeter tattering of what I was wanting. So it seems as of right now.

I have climbed over that wall and heading up the steps to success. Thanks Davene for seeing in my words what was stopping me from growing at this point and time.

Thanks to this course for teaching me how to love again, how to live again and how to grow.

God Bless Mark and Davene for offering the MKMMA course and guidance!

I could not decide which I wanted to write about so I thought I would cut both down and write about both.

Part One

Do the other MKMMAers feel the same way as I do?

Does Mark seem to know what he is doing?

It is uncanny that he seems to know exactly when to post something to give you a lift. To help you realize it is not all that bad on whatever it happens to be.

Every week of our class, we have different obstacles to climb over or go around, and he seems to know right when to post a remark that helps us climb the highest mountain, or to detour around.

His link to Walk On (DJ Gregory) – ESPN Video, was in time for me. I needed that inspirational video

Click here to Watch Walk On
Quote Dj “if I fall I fall, you know, it’s just another challenge. I’m gona fall it just the way it is, you know you get back up and you learn from your mistakes and you don’t do it again”.
Keep moving on..

Part two- Deer Diary
This week I witnessed persistence, burning desire, imagination- set plan, mind closed to negative, and encouragement in a few small doe. We had five doe in our yard to feed on the food we placed out for them.
The largest doe kept everyone else at bay (negative). There were two tiny doe, which stuck together (encouragement), and two medium size doe, all waiting for this larger doe to let them in. Each of them tried to go in for food; the larger always chased them off. The two tiny doe would both walked up together slowly to test the water so to speak, with no avail. One of the medium size decided she was going to fight for her food. She stood up on her hind legs and kicked the larger doe in the face. The larger doe did not back down she charged at the doe raised up, the medium took off quickly avoiding the blow. As this was going on the two tiny doe snuck in eating with open eyes to make sure they were safe. As the large doe turned the two tiny doe left. This went on for a while each sneaking in when one distracted the others. What I witness from one of the tiny doe was amazing to me. She knew she wanted the food (burning desire). She used her imagination (plan) and figured out how not to be chased away. She would take a step closer to the large doe but kept her side to her and head turned away as if she never saw the large doe. She would stand there for what seems to me 5 minutes before taking another step closer, repeating this until she was maybe 2 foot away. Now the others were still charging in and could not get that close before the larger one charged. The tiny doe stood there each time not moving for the food until she thought the larger doe was far enough away, than she went in. She took several bites then walked away and stood about 2 foot away with her head turned away from the food. When the large do came back, she did not charge her. The tiny doe used her desire, planned, persistence, and did not pay attention to the negative actions of the large do, so she could feed.

Here goes….
• Set up three presentations
• Have three others who told me to contact them after the new year
• Was able to control my temper
• Cleaned the dishes everyday -yes folks I dislike doing this ( sure miss our kids)
• I bought deer food to help them out a little
• Helped a friend feel better
• Made ten new friends
• Wrote to thirteen people I hadn’t made contact with for a while
• Contacted seven High School Class mates by phone
• Sent ten emails to High School Class Mates
• Wrote twenty emails to those in my internet groups
• Went through my address book to make sure I did not miss sharing with someone I know
• Called two who I hadn’t called from my address book
• Contacted eight real estates
• Called my partners for support—several times
• Prayed for Connie, Nicole, Richard, Baker, David, Lucinda, Jay, Steven and Lacie
• Wished everyone I talked to a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
• Did laundry – yes another things I dislike doing
• Played with the cat until I got scratched
• Called two cousins
• Called my dad
• Took mother in-laws mail to her
• Did exercise – not enough but did it
• Informed my husband things are not all that bad
• Informed my husband to think positive
• Called our sons
• Called fifteen EX- Excel Business Contacts
• Talked to – or I should say listened to Jehovah Witness
• Contacted people who I had sent presentation
• Went for a walk in the cold
• Oh yeah finished Christmas shopping
• Invited all my email contacts and some of my face book friends, to help feed children, by way of clicking like on Xango Juice Face book page.
XANGO
Now until Dec. 31, 2010, XANGO will donate one Meal Pack for every NEW person who ‘Likes’ our Facebook page. Xango 1<- click or copy paste http://on.fb.me/fy6coF

There may be more but all I can think of right now. As I was writing this out, I was thinking of the affirmations we were to write out. I have 75 cards. I guess I should add these to the cards as well.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good day!

Another thing I have noticed is when something happens I did not carry it around all day long, I let it go. I held onto it for a bit but nothing like I normally do and again it wasn’t with anger it was just wow why did that happen. I thought about it for just a few minutes.

The more read; “The more concerned I am about the things I cannot control the less I’ll do about the things I can control” John Wooden’s Rule; the more I am aware of what I can control.

One tiny step at a time, with continuing on the right path, with love in my heart, and being aware of negative thoughts, I am what I will to be. I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, and happy. I continue to grow each day, every minute and I think Mark and Davene for offering this course I know it was upon me who had to take the steps to help me, but with what they put together, all the necessary material and their guidance that helped me stay the course. THANKS

It is unfortunate on my part that I did not do it earlier. I had all the material right in my lap. Why didn’t I see what I had was what I needed. Oh sure I started out with good intentions then laziness took over or uncertainty of the material or of me. It is all me… it is me who take the first step to get help, but it was me who stopped myself from going farther with it.

Many, many times my business partner told me to write things down, place it where I see it every day. Write out what you want; write what I needed to do to get it done. Stop that way of think…Read OG Mandino, read Think and Grow Rich, Go to Xanchise (these are great slide presentation) and watch the videos that MARK J put out… WHY DID IT TAKE ME SO LONG to finally listen?

A lot of what Mark and Davene have been doing in the MKMMA Course is things that I already knew of…by then did not do it. Instead I went from one thing to another paid another to teach me the things I had all alone that is what I needed. The other courses I took I did get a bit out of it but nothing like what I’m getting from MKMMA.
I cannot answer my own questions on to why I did not use the material I had before Mark and Davene MKMMA course. Was it I needed someone to be accountable too? Was it because I could not count on myself alone to make sure I did what was required? Was it that Mark and Davene MKMMA course break it down and explain everything step by step that finally made me do it?

What I do believe Mark and Davene has combined all the different material and broke it down into reasonable understanding into the best course, I have ever seen, than again is it that I am finally ready.

I have to face fact that I am the REASON I am not where I want to be.

Am I willing to stay the course to get what my burning desire is? What is my Burning desire? What is My OATS, DMP, PPNs? Did I truly write out what these are? From what I have been learning I am missing something and it is hidden somewhere in these 4 habits.

HABIT 1
A DEFINITE PURPOSE BACKED BY BURNING DESIRE FOR ITS FULFILLMENT

HABIT 2
A DEFINITE PLAN, EXPRESSED IN CONTINUOUS ACTION.

HABIT 3
A MIND CLOSED TIGHTLY AGAINST ALL NEGATIVE AND DISCOURAGING INFLUENCES, including negative suggestions of relatives, friends, and acquaintances.

HABIT 4.
A FRIENDLY ALLIANCE WITH ONE OR MORE PERSONS WHO WILL ENCOURAGE ONE TO FOLLOW THROUGH WITH BOTH PLAN AND PURPOSE

Once I mastered these habits, I will truly be successful!

I have come a long way my business partner points out to me every time I talk to him. He reminds me of the angry person that was inside me (that is still showing up now and then). He points out that I am listening better, that the tone in my voice is soft and caring, that I have not said to him what the *#@^ is wrong with me. He points out many things that has changed during this 11 week course I have been taking. Unfortunately its not moving as fast as I wanted it too. He then reminds me to stay true to myself and everything will work out.

The truth hurts…I started out on this course enjoying everything I was learning. I was following the rules. Then things started to get harder to do, to break the habits. I was not going to quit. I have been doing the things asked of me, but I have not been doing it with true emotions. I just get the reading done and out of the way… I am no longer sitting the 50 minutes I started out doing, only 15 min and I was not really concentrating on what I was really suppose to be doing. I am just doing the work but not caring about what I am doing.

I asked for help from one of our MKMMA team members for she has been doing really well and so as many others taking this course. Doing well in my eyes is growing my business, helping people to start this business.

As my business partner keeps pointing out you have come a long way, I can see improvement.

So again, it is I, who is keeping me from where I wanted to be by now. I must be accountable to me, faithful, show enthusiasm and with burning desire. I must allow myself to change my bad habits and learn the 4 habits that this class requires of me. Then and only then can I be the success I wanted from the first day.

Countless times Mark has said you have to be true to yourself. The truth is I was thinking about quitting the course. I was thinking in the past 3 weeks, I could do this; I do not need to be on the call for an hour and half to do my business I just need to do it… Then I tell myself so why haven’t you done your business before now if you can do it on your own. You keep telling yourself you just have to find the way… WELL HELLO WAKE UP WOMAN!

So I’m starting over with myself being truthful, going to rewrite my DMP for I found out my sons told me they wouldn’t want to live that close to me in 10 years, they will already have a home by then. I am going to read my material with enthusiasm, belief and burning desire. I am going to sit 30 minutes, and go back to doing my exercising in my morning routine. I am going to be accountable to myself. Another thing Mark points out… If you do not have time now when would your have time to do it again. So I slipped a little and I am now facing fact I need to wake up and get out of this course what it has done for many others, SUCCESS.

I did not hurt anyone else but myself, lied to myself that I did not need this course to change myself into a better person, a better successful businessperson.

MKMMA course is there for those who are willing to stay the course no matter how hard it gets, TO BE TRUTHFUL TO YOURSELF!

I sit here in front of my pc, reaching the cobweb-covered filing cabinet of my mind for anything that would relate to this week’s class.

As I search through the years of files hidden in my subconscious for the right wording to plaster on this page, only thing that comes to me is the THINKER. A great sculpture that is fashioned in a bronze and marble that Auguste Rodin sculptured which is held in the Musée Rodin in Paris. It depicts a man in sober meditation battling with a powerful internal struggle. It is often used to represent philosophy.

What does the Thinker have to do with our course for this 9th week of MKMMA? For the THINKER, the internal struggles, battling from within, hoping to change without has everything to do with our course.
As the Thinker, represents the very problem of most of us, thinking! My problem I have developed is the internal struggles of negativity, that has reached my subconscious and built a wall to protect me or so I think. My subconscious mind does protect me from experiences however; it also in jails me in my own prisons of my past negative life.

I am learning that MY WAY OF THINKING is what has caged me in my subconscious mind holding me hostage for years. I nearly escape my subconscious when a grenade that was thrown at me, keeping me from taking another step forward. My fears of getting blown away keeps me from the unknown and I feel safe back in my prison cell.

My unguarded conscious mind lets the enemies back in forcing my old self-retreat. What I am doing is to continue practicing to beat the enemies from years of negativity by way of controlling my thoughts.

Using my conscious positive army to build a strong wall, practicing positive thinking repeatedly until my conscious army has formed a solid protection reinforcing each layer, as I go creating the guard, which is helping me to fight off the enemies of hate, and jealousy therefore leading me to freedom to protect my subconscious mind, from my subconscious bad habits.

I am honest, strong, friendly, professional, fantastic, incredible, and amazing. I have built the life I have always dreamed, reaching independence and my freedom. Life to me is the greatest thing in the world!